Two Years

I wanted to quit teaching. But if someone had asked me why, I couldn’t have explained it.

It wasn’t that I hated the job. I got along with my students. The staff room was fine. Coworkers were nice.

From the outside, nothing was wrong.

Why I Couldn’t Leave

The more I learned, the harder it got to ignore the question. Is this really it?

But wanting to leave and actually leaving are completely different things.

My family has a lot of educators. When I became a full-time teacher, everyone was genuinely happy for me. Parents, relatives, all of them.

Quitting wasn’t something anyone around me had ever done. Nobody even considered it.

And if someone asked what I’d do instead, I had no answer. I knew I wanted to go abroad.

That part was clear. But go and do what, exactly? How would I support myself? What if I came back with nothing?

It wasn’t that something out there was wrong. I just couldn’t explain what was bothering me, even to myself.

It Just Didn’t Go Away

That feeling stuck around for about two years.

It wasn’t something I thought about every day. I taught classes, ran club practice, checked the markets, worked out, went to sleep. Normal days.

But it came back. Late at night when I was alone. On the commute, staring out the window. When I saw someone around my age doing something completely different somewhere else.

Some days I was ready to quit. Other days I thought, maybe this is fine. Nobody knew what was going on in my head. Just that same loop, over and over.

Nothing dramatic happened. It just didn’t go away.

Maybe you’ve been on the edge of a big decision before. A job, a move, a relationship. If so, you probably know this feeling. Everything makes sense on paper. But something keeps pulling at you. And you can’t quite explain it to anyone, including yourself.

The Decision

In the end, it wasn’t because I finally had a vision. Or a plan.

I just thought, if I put myself in a situation where I have no choice but to figure it out, something would start.

That was it.

I still don’t know if it was the right call. But I knew that if I didn’t move, I’d be asking myself the same question ten years later.

How People Reacted

When I told my family, they were confused. That made sense.

But once they saw I was serious, every single one of them came around.

I’m really grateful for that.

For Now

I quit teaching and decided to go to Ireland.

Was it the right decision? I honestly still don’t know. I left without a plan, without a clear vision, without any guarantees.

But if I’d stayed at that desk, I wouldn’t be writing this.

Probably.

Living abroad, spending time alone with my own thoughts, seeing Japan from the outside. All of it slowly showed me what I actually want to do.

There’s a lot I want to do. I’ll be sharing it here, one piece at a time.